The guilt that comes with healing after loss

There’s a few things that no one really talks about after a loss. One of those things is how guilty you might feel in your moments of feeling happy again.

To whoever needs to hear this….please do not feel guilty for healing.

There will be hard times. There will always be a piece of your heart missing. So many moments going forward will feel bittersweet. Everyone expects these.

There will also be times that you feel okay. There will be times you feel yourself enjoying life again.

Enjoy them. Embrace them.

Healing is okay. Taking care of yourself is okay. Wanting to heal is perfectly fine and there’s no reason to feel guilty about it. I just can’t stress this enough. ❤️

After my daughter died, I was attacked for things I wasn’t even doing. People started rumors I went off on a trip, that I was getting my hair and nails done, that was out with friends, etc. I can’t even remember at this point all the ridiculous things I was accused of doing. (They were only ridiculous because I wasn’t doing any of them). I was crucified for even thinking of taking care of myself.

The truth was that I barely showered for over a month and slept literally 80% of the time. But you know what, if those things are what would’ve made me feel better after losing her then WHO CARES.

If someone is actually shitty enough to judge you for the way you choose to make it through a tragedy or a loss then please know that it is a reflection of them and not you.

Take care of yourself. Do all the things you need to do to make it. If that means getting your hair done, you go for it sister. If a trip to beach would help heal your soul, hop on that plane and take off. If surrounding yourself with friends and family will boost your spirit, do whatever the heck you want with those people.

Heal at your own pace. In your own way. There is never a reason to feel guilty for that.

Those holidays that are getting easier with each passing year? Be thankful. Those days you made it through the entire day without a breakdown? Hallelujah. Those events or moments that didn’t end up hitting you as hard as you anticipated? God is good, y’all.

I have found myself thinking the last couple weeks how full my heart feels. This is a thought that hadn’t even sort of crossed my mind since before losing my girl.

As soon as it enters my mind, I find myself immediately pushing the thought out. How could I possibly feel this way?

I feel this way because God is allowing me to heal, and that is beautiful.

Sweet soul, please know that your heart may be broken now. Your days may be full of hard times currently.

The day will come when you realize you’re living again, please enjoy every second. ❤️

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